Dear Nephew,
Here you are on the cusp of a major life transition and it
seems like just yesterday you were that fluff haired little boy. Over the last
two years, it’s been especially wonderful to watch you start to come into a bit
more of your own and I’m excited to watch the coming years unfold.
In the end you will make all your own decisions and as much
as we can offer you wisdom and thoughts for along the way, you will create a
life that is all your own. While I hope it’s a fairly smooth process, more than
likely there will be lots of bumps along the way. So here’s a conglomeration of
things I’ve learned along the way and/or wish to offer for you to think upon:
1)
When/if the shit hits the fan, you might be
tempted to hate all of life for awhile and that’s okay. Let yourself be pissed,
confused, sad….but also lay the steps to start moving yourself forward to less
cloudy days. Eventually the sun always shines again and even when we don’t know
where the hell He is….He’s usually pulling for us and trying to get us back on
a path toward Him.
2)
LIVE. And I mean really do it. Talk to people
who are different from you, try new things (minus drugs….DON’T do drugs J), challenge yourself,
learn something outside of your box, TRAVEL. Your 20s are all about figuring
out who you really are (a process you’ll repeat over and over throughout life)
so allow yourself the opportunities to do so. Which leads me to….
3)
Take the time to question your beliefs and who
you are. Are they yours or the beliefs of society, your parents, your schooling
etc? Evaluate what you really believe and why. Be able to back up why you
believe a certain way. Use this process to create your value system and use
that value system as your foundation from which you operate and make future
decisions. Know yourself and what you stand upon. Be aware of both your
strengths and weaknesses. Edit and alter as needed throughout life.
4)
Pick a career that you’re passionate about and
that will meet your basic financial needs. Be open to the idea that you might
change careers multiple times during your life and allow yourself the space to
do so if you feel called to make the change. Excess money doesn’t breed
happiness, debt doesn’t breed happiness, so make smart financial choices. If
you choose to go to grad school…..wait until you really know what you want to
do—it’s a big financial endeavor.
5)
Get an education but always remember that
education comes from more than just book learning. Life is a process of
constantly learning.
6)
Set goals….and achieve them. It’s important to
lay out a plan, but also recognize that the best made plans are made in pencil.
Sometimes life alters our plans and that’s okay, but still make sure you
accomplish goals in some form. A plan heads us in a direction even if the
accomplished end point is different than our intention.
7)
Make time to travel. Take road trips, buy the
plane tickets, visit the off the beaten path towns, take the time to see
something new each year even if it’s just 50 miles away. Be a local not a
tourist, but sometimes be a tourist in your own town. So often we live places
without truly appreciating and experiencing them.
8)
Pick up new hobbies throughout your life. Engage
your mind in new pursuits and creativity. Don’t be afraid to try something new,
even at 90.
9)
Don’t be afraid to discard things that no longer
serve you but hold on to a few really good things for the long haul. Friendships
change and end and sometimes come back around again.
10)
Pick a partner who compliments you and who
operates from your same value system. Recognize that you both with change over
time. Always keep your word and remember that actions speak louder than actual
words. Communicate, allow for separate interests, and yet make sure that you
cherish and respect each other.
11)
Be mindful of health. Your health is one of your
greatest gifts. Cherish your individual health, the collective health of
society, the health of the planet. But also remember that sometimes you just
need to drink the milkshake and eat the bacon burger.
12)
Be a steward. GIVE to others without expecting.
Take care of your environments and take care of people near and far. How you
treat the people and world around you speaks more than anything else.
13)
Always pack an extra change of clothes/shoes,
valid ID, a credit card, a snack, cash, and condoms. Carry these in your car
& make sure they’re always in your luggage.
14)
Grant grace—to yourself and others. We are all
flawed. We all fail. We all make mistakes. Forgive others. Forgive yourself.
Learn from seemingly negative experiences and turn bitter into sweet.
15)
Be self-sufficient and independent. Learn how to
do things on your own and develop a skill-set to be able to do a variety of
regular tasks. But also don’t be afraid to ask for help or assistance. There
will be seasons in your life of independence and seasons of dependence. Be able
to exist in either one.
I’m proud of you. I love you. Congrats on this closing
chapter and here’s to the one to come!
Much love,
Aunt Liz
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